Thank God that Sergie doesn't do Valentines!!

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Who's Going To Clean Up This Romantic Gesture?

Why Sergie Must Work in the Fashion Industry

See, this is what living with him is like:

We were watching the new Bond flick on the big screen. We got to the part where Mr. Bond discovers that he has been given a new suit. Miss Vesper says something like "There are dinner jackets and dinner jackets. That is the second type. I need you to look like you belong at that table."
Next scene: James is admiring himself in the bathroom mirror. And he looks good, damn good. So, I lean over and whisper "Nice."

Sergie leans over and whispers back "Brioni."

Fat Boy Retires

Fat Boy (a family-owned and operated, single location, fast food restaurant in Smyrna) is an exemplar of the American Dream.

It was started in the 1960's by a Greek Merchant Marine who jumped ship in New York City, moved to Atlanta to stay with relatives, and worked his way up from "menial" restaurant jobs to owning his own restaurant.

Unfortunately, it will close its doors December 30th, 2006 at 8:30 p.m.

In memorium: farewell to fresh cheeseburgers, tasty fries, great prices and the best milkshakes money can buy. As well as all of the meals and deli sandwiches that I'll never get to try. Smyna will miss you!

Are you crazy or just plain stupid?

Often one of my Atlanta friends would say to me (or I'd say to them) that it would be really cool to take a day and bike the Silver Comet trail. Four hours up, eat lunch, then four hours back. The other would respond, "Yeah, that's great! Let's do that sometime!"

Today, I did just that. Let's say I have a slightly different answer now.

Actually, I didn't ride for four hours. I counted the hours between the time I started (11:30 am) and the time the sun goes down (6 pm), divided that in half and subtracted 1/2 an hour (1/2 hour for lunch and 1/2 hour for slowness on the way back). So, my turn-around point was supposed to be at 2:30, which is 3 hours of riding.

A few lessons learned:

1) A person who hasn't touched their bike in months cannot ride for three hours straight. According to my records, she can ride for two hours, which includes pushing her bike up the super-steep hills on the way to the S.C., and water breaks. This will get her to the 16.99 mile point (starting at 2.4 - the Concord Road access).
2) Diet Coke with Splenda and water are not ideal take-along drinks. Gatorade or Coke Classic or something with sugar is a better idea.
3) Those nasty energy gel things would also be a good idea.
4) The tuna fish sandwiches and baked Lays were really yummy. What would have been even better is cherry tomatoes. I packed tuna into a plastic container, toasted bread into a sandwich bag and the chips into a ziplock bag. I also included a plastic fork.
5) Using masking tape to fasten a Publix bag to your rear bike rack works just fine as a lunch container.
6) Not that anything happened, but it would have been a heck of a lot smarter to have included a tire patch kit and a first aid kit. Though I was smart enough to bring my phone, i.d., credit card and cash. 911 will get you help just about anywhere on the trail.
7) Exercise or padded bike gloves would have been nice. My hands hurt almost more than my butt. I did bring running gloves because I thought the air against my hand might chap them, but that wasn't a concern (I think it was around 70 today).
8) Dressing in layers was ideal, as riding a bike was a lot cooler than walking. Padded bike pants might be worth looking in to.
9) Helicopter support would have been nice, but wasn't necessary. I think the trail is canted slightly upward outbounds, which was just enough to make it possible for me to get home. On the homeward journey, I stopped to stretch (also to try to get feeling back into my pinkies). I also stopped for Gatorade at the Depot.
10) A pad of paper and a pencil would have been surprisingly handy. Lots of good thoughts.
11) Be warned: after Powder Springs, the trail accepts equestrians. I'm not going to say, what you think I'm going to say. What I'm going to say is that the pavement becomes slightly textured which makes for a less smooth ride. About the other thing, dogs caused more "problems" than horses.
12) Ride with a helmet! This was my first time ever. My brain is finally smart enough to protect itself, thus proving that it is worthy of being protected. Honestly, I didn't really notice it (the helmet, not my brain).
13) Kleenex.
14) One great thing about the S.C: it's flat. This means that the ride is easy. I think I averaged around 7 miles an hour.
15) One drawback to the S.C: it's flat. This mean that you have to pedal the entire time (which, as I mentioned, is more true going out than in).
16) The Epsom Salts bath at the end is worth any pain experienced tomorrow.
17) The S.C. is the finest place on earth. Go see it for yourself!

Note: December 20th, 2006: Per my car's odometer, the S.C. trail is almost exactly 2 miles away via the route I bike. This gave me a 33 mile bike ride yesteday. My last two fingers are still numb, my knees are sore, but "other areas" hurt surprisingly little.

Old Man River just keeps rolling along...

Henry had another growth spurt. He came up behind me when I was feeding them on Thursday. I put my hand down to pet him and encountered a head that was much bigger and further off the floor than I'm used to. He is tons bigger than his mom now and might end up rivaling Orpheus.

He has also chosen to abandon all of his feral habits. When Amie came to visit on Thanksgiving, he greeted her, along with Sergie, me, his mom and the O-man each time he entered the house. Which is terrific as Amie is quite allergic to cats. I didn't do anything to dissuade him. After all, his mom hisses, growls, swats at his ears and threatens to bite him every time he greets her. Not sure what more I can do as he's not exactly taking his mom's "hints."

Orpheus's entire coat is becoming speckled with white. And his whiskers are beginning to turn grey. He must be 10 or 12 now. It's hard to believe, since we've had him such a short time. He's lifetimes older than the other two. I'm betting he'll live to a solid 20.

Alma is doing fine. No sign of any side effects from her FIV. Contrarily, her coat has become completely luxurious over the past week - sleek, plush, warm. I'm not sure whether it's the flea/worm treatments, or the colder weather. She's my top candidate for being turned into a coat. And if she continues eating the way she does, she'll be the right size in just a few more years.

I don't have an MP3 player

I've just bought my first country song: Jason Aldine's Amarillo Sky. And I got it off the internet.

Amarillo Sky's a funny one for me 'cause it's got a fairly heavy country rythmn and sound (i.e. it uses a violin) though it's still "New Country." So, the first time I heard it, I liked the song, but I was sceptical about liking the sound. Now, I'm addicted.

So, I wanted to buy the song, not the album. I wanted to be able to burn the song to CD (for my personal use) or load it to an MP3 player, which I'll get sometime after the next coolest thing has hit the music industry. I-Tunes is great, if you have an I-Pod, but they're just too darn proprietary for my taste. Computers are all about personal choice, right? Who to choose, who to choose?

I picked Napster. After all, they've already had a well-publicized lawsuit, so they've probably got it down by now.

The one thing I'm worried about, is that Aldine's song Hicktown (which I also like) is listed as a "Radio Edit." I really want the ability to buy whatever version I want as computers are about personal choice, but I'm not worrying about that for now.

Also, it took a little bit to figure out the site. After all, I want to purchase on a song-by-song basis and Napster wants me to pay monthly, though they do offer "Napster Light" which is exactly what I want. Here are the steps I used, if you want to know:

1. Register on Napster.
2. Find a song you like.
3. Click "Buy Track." This will prompt you to download the Napster software (which requires a restart).
4. Go back to Napster, login and find a song you like.

1. Click "Buy Track." You will be given payment options.
2. Click the Library button on the top, right hand corner and watch your song download.
3. Click the Purchased Tracks folder, once the song has finished downloading, and play your song.

Meowie, Owie, Owie.

I've spent today getting taking Alma to the vet, then getting everybody dewormed and deflea'd. This is one of those things that is negligble for one cat, but wallet-busting with three: about $45/cat. Ouch.

Though, thank god, it wasn't ouch in all the ways it could have been. Sergie is a master cat-piller. He wraps them up in a towel, sticks the pill in their mouths, then kinda shifts the cat around until they swallow. No holding their mouths closed, no tapping on the throat or holding their nostrils. They just swallow. And they're not real pissed afterwards either. I heard that Time magazine is looking for a Man of the Year...

What did piss them off was the Advantage for fleas. I do admit it doesn't feel real good when I spill some on myself, but it's got to be done. Alma's sitting on my lap again, which isn't exactly great as she smells strongly of Advantage, but it also means that she's not hiding from me. Maybe getting rid of the worms will help her deflate a little.

I'm sure Orpheus will forgive me sometime between now and next Thursday.

Racewalking

I've finally made the commitment to learn how to racewalk.

For those I haven't bored with the story:

On Saturday, I completed a 5k. Ahead of me were two middle-aged women who were walking (really walking, not just strolling in their jeans and Macy's sneakers). Since I'm most motivated by the competition in a race - that's why I love races - I thought that I would use the ladies to set my pace. If I could keep them in sight (or maybe even pass them) I'd be good.

I was left in the dust. I lost sight of them in the first 5 minutes, they were going that fast. This particular course doubled back on itself, so they both passed me coming back. They were super-nice, giving me a thumb's-up and words of encouragement (they could speak!! at the pace they were going. I was puffing.). So, when I found that they were parked right behind me, I went over to introduce myself and commend their athleticism.

Turns out that they'd both been racewalking for years. The best part (for me) was that they assumed I had been racewalking too. How flattering! Learning to racewalk is something that I've been toying with for the past year or two. I love walking. I love walking in races. I'm probably not going to get below a 12 minute mile as a fitness walker. So, in order to keep pushing myself, I have to either walk longer distances as a fitness walker, or learn a new way of walking. And, by racewalking, I would be an athlete. I mean, racewalking is an Olympic event.

My main hurdle is that I'm completely unathletic. I can't tell you how many times I've been worst in a dance class and couldn't get better because my body couldn't understand the instructions that I was getting. What if I sucked at racewalking too? What if I totally didn't enjoy it? I find failure in the physical arena completely humiliating. Why put myself through that if just walking was fun enough.

So, my new racewalking friends gave me just the right push. After all, if I was close enough that they mistook my fitness walking as racewalking, then I don't suck and I do enjoy it. They offered to get together with me on the weekends and show me what they know. I mean these ladies are great!

I was so excited that I had to find out if there were any clinics or lessons in Houston. Hallelujah! Houston is flat, so racewalking is big and there's something almost every day of the week including an actual class on Tuesdays. Since Tuesday was Halloween, I called to see if they were still holding class. And they were! Turns out that Dave Gwen, one of the instructors, came out just for me. What a giving group of people.

I told Dave about the feedback I got on Saturday. He rolled his eyes just a bit; I'm sure he's heard all that before. Then he showed me the basics. Turns out that I did pick up on everything more quickly than average. As a matter of fact, he asked if I'd been practicing. I told him that I had experimented with some of the tips in Prevention's Complete Book of Walking from the Rodale press. I can do it!

That's not to say it was easy. Racewalking is NOT really walking. It's more like a modified jog. There's a lot of tricks to learn and a lot of new muscles to develop. And I'm going to have to learn to work through my shin splints. With walkers, they'll go away in about 15 minutes if you just keep going. (Runners get them for different reasons, so they might have to treat them differently.)

Now that I know what physical attributes are necessary for racewalking, I can see how some of it is natural for me. I tend to keep my shoulders very still, and have a lot of movement in my hips. Bad for ballet. Bad for most sports. Ideal for racewalking. I'll still have to work with the pronation with my left foot, but even that is easier to control by the way you push your leg straight and let your hips take a lot of the upward motion.

One interesting thing I've noticed is that the walker-specific stretches seem to do a lot more for me than the dance, yoga, etc. stretches I've done before. Dave showed me a hamstring stretch, something that I've been working to loosen for YEARS. Did it yesterday when he showed it to me. Did it today after I warmed up and after I finished walking. Wham! I can bend over and touch my toes with my knees completely straight. I swear to you, that is a very rare thing for me. I can usually only touch my toes after months of stretching every day. Also, the DBX stretches in the back of Prevention's book do an awful lot for me. There's just something about the way you use your body that is very right for me.

Right now, I'd like to learn to really racewalk, possibly even in judged competitions. I'd ALSO like to apply the techniques to fitness walking. I'd fitness walk in run/walks, which tend to be hilly in North Georgia, so it's more difficult or even impossible to racewalk. Also, according to Dave, you can actually go faster walking than racewalking, as racewalking has form being judged too. So, I could really work against the clock in non-judged competitions. This is so cool!

No More Fat Cats

Check out this IFilm video for the answer to overweight indoor cats.

http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2777180

If I could dance to just one song (a list)

Here's a list of songs that I would give anything be able to boogie down to:

• Save a horse, ride a cowboy - Big and Rich
• Just my imagination - The Temptations (requires a soft, satin halter neck dress with a plunge back, and a bias-cut, ankle-length skirt. Not sure about the shoes.)
  

Praise God Fasting

Per Slate Magazine, Bush offers his support of Dennis Hastert:

Everyone notes that President Bush appeared at a fund-raiser with
embattled House Speaker Dennis Hastert. It was the first time the two have been
seen together since Hastert became the target of criticism that he dropped the
ball on the congressional page scandal. "I am proud to be standing with the
current speaker of the House who is going to be the future speaker of the
House," Bush said.

Is it just me or has this, historically, been the signal for the Bush supportee to leave their office under a cloud?

It's still Texas

On the talk-radio show this morning, there was a discussion about what should be done about the shootings that are happening in our schools. Here's a few choice quotes:

• In a discussion about the feasibility of arming teachers, the statement was made that some teachers might not be able to "draw" (point a gun with intent to shoot) on a person. That is ok, because they could be responsible for directing the other children to safe areas. But that the teachers who CAN "draw" on a person should be identified and armed. My thought: do we really want to hire teachers who are capable of shooting children?
• A caller suggested arming teachers with stun guns and putting electronic locks on all the doors, to instantly seal off the school into areas. My thought: Perhaps we should ban all metal objects and shoe laces as well, to better prepare our kids for life in prison.
• Another caller asked where the heck could a thirteen-year-old get an AK-47. "Great question!" I thought. He then went on to say, "I have guns in my house, but my children are taught never to touch them." My thought: That answers your question; they get AK-47s from family members and neighbors.

I might not have an answer to school shootings. We have metal detectors and rules that students can't access their lockers. We have adults breaking into schools and taking hostages. I'm not sure that there is a complete answer. But exploring the question "Where in the heck cold a thirteen-year-old get an AK-47?" might offer a part of the solution.

Is Texas Part of the South?

I was once told by a native Georgian that Texas was more a part of the South than Virginia. Virginia was more “East.”

After a few question, I was told by my beloved late Aunt Margaret, in her pristine, soft, elegant accent that she was a Southerner. She was born in Virginia and Virginia is part of the South. That tone of voice admitted no argument.

So what about Texas, then?

I’m commuting to Houston. Grits are served in all restaurants, but there are only two establishments where sweet tea can be found - one of which is the airport McDonald's. This is deplorable for a Southern city. I’m told by people from places like Baltimore and Philadelphia this is NOT deplorable is because Texas is NOT southern (I think they use the lower-case spelling).

So, here's my Pros and Cons...

Texas is Southern:
· Trucks
· Grits
· Belles
· Jefferson Davis County

Texas is not Southern:
· A serious lack of sweet tea
· Twang instead of drawl
· People refer to themselves as “Texan” not Southern

What do you think?

Lost - Athena

Athena ran away on Friday, April 14th.

I left the basement door open, like I always do.

I should have known better because she'd been showing more interest in the outside.

She was just beginning to let me pet her.

Anyway, I spoke to an expert. He suggested that I put up posters formatted exactly as shown. I got a few calls at first (more than I'd ever gotten in response to a poster before). None of them were her.

If you don't mind, I think I'm not going to post on this blog for awhile. The cool stuff happening in my backyard pales in comparison to Athena's loss.

Poison Ivy

Yikes!

After learning to identify the plant (click here), I realize that I have a poison ivy LAWN in my backyard. And a nice healthy sample next to my front step.

I've done a bit of research on methods of killing it.

You have to root it out, otherwise it will grow back quickly. As I posted earlier, this is impossible as it hides under immovable objects. Like one's house.

There are organic herbicides that use clove oil, but it sounds like they do diddley-squat.

According to Mike McGrath, former editor of Organic Gardening (immediately before the magazine went down-hill with Maria Rodale), pulling as much as you can get works ok. Which is my general Plan A. The problem with THAT is that I have so much and I don't want to continually pull out plants from the same roots. I want to kill the roots.

That leaves Round-Up and Brush-B-Gone. My impression is that Southern gardeners swear by BBG. One lady fills up an eye-dropper with Round-Up and carefully places a drop on the cut stem. Others put a small amount in a coffee can and dip the poison ivy in the can. It is then absorbed by the leaves into the roots, thereby killing the plant from the roots.

So, I think I'll go out and pull. If I can't get the root out, I'll put a drop of Brush-B-Gone on the cut end. If poison ivy comes back into areas I've cleared, I'll try a careful method of using the Brush-B-Gone to kill the root. MINIMAL toxins. gardenweb has studies posted about the long term effects of Round-Up. Yikes! On the other hand, I have just as much right to enjoy my backyard as the frogs.

As an aside (Have you noticed how recognizing the plant and the rash, and getting rid of the plant and the rash are topics of ALL articles published about poison ivy. There's nothing out there - including this post - JUST about getting rid of the plant.) , washing with Aveeno Body Wash seems to be a necessary ingrediant for the long-term efficacy of Ivarest.

Garden Pests

It's like a blues song.

I got aphids on my roses... da da da dum.

So, I need to get some Safer Insecticidal Soap, which I just saw somewhere. Home Depot? Lowe's? I remember being surprised.

And there's the poison ivy. da da da dum. I'm pulling it, then showering in luke-warm water with CVS brand Poison Ivy Anti-Itch Scrub. This might be working, it seems like I'm getting less of a rash than I should be. Of course, the true test - rubbing ivy on both wrists and only washing one - isn't going to happen, so I don't really know for sure. I'm rubbing on Caladryl Clear afterwards, which doesn't seem to work at all. Ivarest is what I use for the areas that break out. It says "8 hour relief on the package. I seem to get 10 if I use it right after showering. Of course, it flakes off EVERYWHERE. But it's better than itching!

So I have a little bit of rash on both wrists, but it's no big deal. And there's that one spot on my temple : (

2006: the year of the itch. Since I'm no longer as terrified of poison ivy as I was after my HORRIBLE experience last year, I'm pulling it up like gangbusters. Unfortunately, you can't really dig it up, because it's always rooted under something like a sidewalk or a tree. So I'm considering pulling it back as far as I can, then treating the broken end with a poison.

Let me clarify: I identify myself as an organic gardener. I spray my roses with fish emulsion and have a compost pile. I mulch and use the square foot method to control weeds and water usage. But, as I would use chemotherapy to treat existing cancer (though I'd try to prevent it homeopathically), or would call in an exterminator if my house had termites (though I have a brick house), so I believe in using poisons to remove plants and animals that cause horrible or deadly conditions. For example, the last time I was bit by a fire ant, my entire leg swelled. Every time I've gotten bitten by a fire ant, my reaction has been markedly worse. Thus, I'd use a fire ant killer. On the other hand, I will not use a toxin on wasps. Neither I nor Sergie are allergic to wasp bites. So we can afford to mess around with discouragement techniques. My entire backyard, and parts of my front yard are covered in poison ivy. I'm at the point of reaching "last ditch" techniques.

Like many gardeners I use floating row cover to discourage weeds and noxious insects. And any mammals that might have designs on my vegies. So, imagine my surprise when I see a shadow in my garden. It's furry. It's black. It's Henry!!

He's looking at me like "Yum, it's warm in here." Thanks, Henry. Your butt is on my tomato.

He had managed to find a place that I hadn't clothespinned quite tightly enough.
(Maybe I should try the Cat Stop Willow Barrier. You think they'd even notice? Perhaps it's electrified?)

So, I drag him out of the garden.

Then he decides to go irritate the bumble bees that are pollenating my blueberries. Leaps 5 feet into the air to try and catch them. I figure that there's a fast way and an easy way to learn about bumble bees. And, given the don't-listen-to-a-word-I-say cat he's grown up to be, he'll just have to learn the fast way.

Biggest Purrs in the World

I'm getting Athena-sugar now!

We're not even pretending that the treat container is scratching her behind the ears. It's very much on her terms, but that's how it should be.

I'm getting about 15 seconds at night, but she's also approaching me in the basement (which didn't happen before) and becoming much more confident everywhere. She just let me touch her in the morning! in the dining room! So, every day means progress.

There's been a lot of little things I've had to learn:

• Shoe heels on the floor scare her. Henry gets worried too, if it's somebody he doesn't know. Maybe that's early memories of being under the porch? I wear softer shoes now.
• No grabbing at all. Even if the reason my hand is moving toward her is that Henry is pushing it from the other side.
• If she starts looking anxious, I'M the one that needs to run away.

my CATS have FLEAS

'though it's hard to tell around the poison ivy rash.

I'm willing to bear the pain - I think I exterminated the ivy that got me last year. Yea!!

The thing about cats and poison ivy is that it's ivy, it's a vine. So, it's long and string-like. This means that after you pull a tendril and it breaks off above the root, you need to dispose of it immediately. Otherwise you'll look around to find a kitty rolling in it and biting it as if it were a ball of yarn. Pulling it has it's own dangers. It sends the vine snaking through the grass like a particularly attractive rodent.

Luckily, no adverse effects. On the cats.

Not being willing to gain the 20 pounds I did last year, I'm forgoing the prednesone and helping the itch with Aveeno Body Wash and Benedryl Itch Stopping Cream. They help enough - for about two hours after I wash and apply the cream, I'm fine. Then I reapply the cream as necessary.

So, my cats have fleas. My plan is to go to the vet's before work and get that (expensive, but effective) Advantage Flea Control. So, I went to bed between 10 and 11, thinking I'd get up between 7 and 7:30 (when the vet's office opens). Sweet dreams. Henry started yowling for his wet food at 6:30. So I rolled over and put in an ear plug. At 6:45, Orpheus, who's allowed in the bedroom started wreaking havoc. This isn't fair. On the other hand, they hate the flea stuff. And I'm not going to feel one bit guilty about applying it to the little b@$%@&*s.

On the knitting front: I went to see the knitting guru, Jolie, at Purly Gates. You know how my collar folded over on my first adult sweater? It was because I sewed it so that you couldn't see the edges, so they came together like this: = , on the inside of the sweater. This was pushing the collar over. I picked off the back part and re-sewed it to display my sloppy edges.

Jolie shares my passion for the knitted, three-dimensional construction of cloth. What gets her going is flawless technical knitting. She's doing a cardigan that is knitted and folds in such a way to create no seams. A knitter's knitter. I, on the other hand, am in my third year and have huge mistakes in each of my pieces. Thankfully, knitting is forgiving and I can quietly repair and hide my boo-boos. Except for that short-rowed jog on the bottom of my 1st adult sweater.

I showed her my lace cardigan, the bottoms of the sleeves are curling. Yes, I bound off my picot too tightly. She recommends steam and, if that doesn't work, backing out and binding off more loosely. Jolie suggested either going up two needle sizes, or (how do I explain?) not dropping my bound off stitch from the needle right away. You work the second stitch on the left hand needle before dropping off the first stitch. Then you work the third stitch before dropping off the second stitch.

They got in some more of that el cheapo acrylic mohair, so I am going to be able to do the reversible-ribbed cabled shawl in the Vogue book. We'll call it the Vogue shawl, since I'm not yet doing garments that have names. This will be a nice stepping stone to the complicated cables in Rogue. Sigh. Which is what I'm working up to with the socks and all.

BTW, I LOVE socks. Fast and simple, yet intimidating for most knitters (little do they know). Lovely. I've just completed 1 1/2 of my first pair, using the wonderful, wonderful directions in Simple Socks. I'm planning to do a pair for a Friend. A pale blue merino, with a design done in a self-striping yarn. I'm considering buying an hour of 0ne-on-one from Jolie to learn to do instarsia. I do pretty well out of books and off of patterns, but I always miss something small that's just not there.

Anyway, it's 8 am and I'm already running late.

Athena got petted!

Last week, Athena rubbed her head against my hand.

Since then, she hasn't allowed her to pet me.

On the other hand, I've perfected the art of scratching with two fingers while holding a bag of treats. After she's rubbed her head on the treats, and my hand is behind her head, I flip out two fingers and scratch her shoulder blades. BIG purrs.

BUT, she's still offended when she realizes my hand is involved.

Today, she actually rubbed against my hand and let me scratch her behind the ears!! Like, realized that I was petting her with my HAND and allowed it. And purred!

We're still working out the finer points. But if SHE approached ME and asked for it once, the second time is right around the corner. Whooo Hooo!

The Lion King

You know, in Disney's The Lion King, how Simba runs away from his pride after his father gets killed. Then, the next time we see him, he's a young male?

That's what happened to Henry when I went to Aberdeen for a week. He's bigger than Alma now. Both the kittens are almost a year old.

Henry has more-or-less figured out the no biting, no scratching rule of being petted and played with. It's kind of crazy, there are animal shelters that won't take or will automatically put down cats that bite.

Four out of four cats in Varda's household bite. What's the problem? Cats bite. They just shouldn't draw blood.

On that note, the Black and White cat up the street needs to get the memo about not drawing blood. I think he's the one that bit Henry. Which required surgery. Ouch.

I'm considering a guerilla neutering.

Amazing!

You know how I've been offering Athena stuff that I have in my hands? Well today, during the bedtime dance, I tried to get her to sniff the cat box odor remover. She actually rubbed against it! A couple of times!

Of course, each time she rubbed against it, she looked at me like "How dare you touch me?" But, she did it again. This is the closest she's ever come to asking me to pet her! Her tail touchedmy fingers for a second!

Also, when she was waiting for me to flick her treat across the room, she batted at my finger! Like, she's suddenly less afraid of my hands. She's willing to be impatient with me, instead of just scared.

This will only happen after 10pm, but it's a major crack in the wall she's built.

Yea!!

Miss Chatty

It's 10pm. I just put the cats in their room. At Athena's request.

I'm sure I've described how that works. First, I clean their box. Then I make sure that they have fresh water and a little food. Then I give Alma, Henry and Orpheus treats. I flick Athena's treats across the floor, so that she can run and pounce. She prefers it that way, and she gets some much needed exercise. Finally, I turn out the lights and close the door on the family Cat. Orpheus gets to sleep with us.

Unfortunately, this past month I've been gone quite a bit. First I was gone the 16th and 17th, then the 20th through the 23rd. When I got home on the 17th, Athena was pretty happy to see me. So much that, when I started the bedtime routine, she actually forgot herself enough to strop my legs. She's very soft.

As a matter of fact, she's the most physically attractive of my cats. She's compact and well put-together with a round face. When she moves and sits, she makes a series of curliques. Her tail is always gently rounded in a pattern of graceful curves and her body seems to follow that lead. Unless she's skittering across the floor like some sort of abused feral.

The feral act is what I was treated to on the evening of the 23rd. Until about 9:45pm. At which point, Athena thought it was time for bed and became very adamant that the routine had to be followed exactly and immediately. I had a couple of more days of wild kitty in the morning and princess at night, until she got over my absence.

She will sniff my balled fist, touching it with her tiny nose, though she remains terrified of my extended hand. I've started requesting her to sniff it several times a day, though it's no big deal if she won't. I had a mini-breakthrough on Saturday - I was cleaning the box in preparation for bed. Athena was excited and was rolling around on her cardboard scratching box. I gave her my fist, and she grabbed it with her paws and pulled it toward her. When she realized what she'd done, she considered scrambling away, but I pulled back my hand and ignored her. She calmed back down quickly. Hopefully, that will go to build the idea that she is really safe. I'm also trying to hold things for her that she seems interested in: the banana that I'm eating, the box of treats, my book, etc. She'll sniff about half the time, which might get across the point that everything's generally ok.

The yearly vet appointment is fast approaching, but I think that Athena will skip it this year. It's just too important that she be socialized.

One interesting point: Athena is a talker. I say "Athena-mina," and she says "meow." I say "Don't be a silly kitty," and she says "meau." I say "Is it time for treats?" And she says "mewp." For a cat that "doesn't like" people, she's quite the conversationalist. She will half-way follow me around the house when there's not another cat to hang out with too.

She's got a little pattern that she needs to follow in order to come up on the sofa with me and her family, but she's getting a lot more comfortable with that. And, if she were allowed in the bedroom or on the bed, she'd get up there with me alone. I was actually playing with her under a piece of paper until she realized that it was my hand and ran away. Or at least I would have been were she allowed on the bed.

And she'll play with the feather on the string if I'll wiggle it for her.

I just wish that we could bring her the rest of the way home.

Cat Box Odor

Necessity is the mother of invention and eliminating cat box odor with four cats takes some work. Let me tell you how I do it.

I scoop daily using a Durascoop, the biggest metal scoop you've ever seen, and PetSmart's Exquisicat Premium Scoopable litter. I scoop everything in to one of those paper lunch bags you used to take to school with you. Bio-degradable, cheap, and exactly the right size for what I need. Then I sprinkle some Simple Solution cat litter odor remover on the top. It's the cats' job to work it in.

Every two weeks I dump the litter and put in fresh stuff. It seems like that's about all the litter can take - it gets slightly darker and doesn't absorb the smell, though it still clumps just fine.

When I fill up the tray, I sprinkle a layer of Ammo Cat in the bottom. The cats usually work this through the litter with their normal action. The one problem with it is that it's too big for the holes in the scoop. I can't use a scoop with bigger holes because we also have tiny clumps about the same size. I don't worry about it and just scoop the Ammo Cat too. It doesn't seem to run out by the time I change the litter. On the other hand, I might try using the Simple Solution only.

I wash the pans every couple (few) months. I might try the Simple Solution cat box cleaner, their products are great, but right now I just use Pine Sol.

The Last Straw -or- Don't bank at Bank of America

I have not been, emotionally, a "Bank of America customer" for quite some time, though I've continued to bank with them. I was waiting for a convenient moment to change banks. That moment has found me. Get this:

If you've been reading this blog for awhile, you'll know that I have an "e-bill initiated payment" set up. This means that my billers send their invoices to my bank. I have requested that my bank automatically send these payment to arrive three days before the due date on the bill. Ideally, this requires no interference with me. In the real world, during "cash poor" months, I'll adjust the payment dates the bills are paid to correspond with my having money in the bank.

Let me recap: on the ebill online page, I have checked a radio button that states "Send my payment to arrive ____ days before the due date." I filled in the blank by choosing "3" from a drop down box. This means that my request is to "Send my payment to ARRIVE 3 DAYS BEFORE the due date" for the majority of my ebills.

This weekend, Bank of America (BOA) changed their policy in sending e-bill initiated payments. To show you how I got screwed, I'll show you BOA's statement, translate what it means, and compare a before and after scenario. Then I'll tell you what happened.

Here's how I was alerted to the change:

Bill Pay just got better.

You've helped make Bill Pay #1 among online banking service. As our way of saying thanks, we're making it even easier for you to use. With our simplified scheduling, just tell us when you want your payment delivered and we'll see that it gets there on time. Even better, funds can stay in your account longer - since your money remains in your account until the payee receives the payment. Select the Bill Pay & e-Bills tab to start enjoying these Bill Pay improvements today.

This isn't real clear, so let me break it down for you.

In the BEFORE world, you would schedule when you wanted bills to be sent. BOA would give you a rough estimate of how long it took for the payment to get there (e.g., 2 days) and you would choose when your money left the bank.

So, if I wanted my payment to reach my biller by Wednesday, March 1st, then I would have to send the payment on Monday, February 27th. The money would be withdrawn from my account on the 27th, but not credited to my bill until March 1st. I would also have until the 26th to alter the amount of the payment or the date that the payment would be sent out.

In the AFTER world, you schedule for the bill's arrival. So, if I want my payment to reach my biller by Wednesday, March 1st, then I would request for it to arrive on the 1st. The money would be withdrawn from my account on the 1st and it would be credited to my bill on the 1st. A few business days before the 1st, the ebill would be shown "in process." This means that the money hasn't left my account, but I am not able to adjust the amount or date of the transaction.

If I were given a choice, I'd pick the BEFORE world. It means that the money is being taken out of my account a few days earlier, but it is more intuitive given the way the world currently works. In the world of paper, you receive a bill and write a check. You mail the check reasonably early, so that the post office has sufficient delivery time. Billers understand that there are variances in post office delivery, so they generally grant 3-5 days grace before you are considered "late." Thus, if the BOA payment arrives in three days instead of two, my biller will likely mark the bill as being paid "on time."

And, recall, in an attempt to be responsible, I have my payments sent to arrive three days before the bill is due. Given the 3-5 days grace, I have 6-8 business days to fix any problems or arrange for alternate payment before my bill is past due. The AFTER world only has an impact if you are drawing income on the money used to pay your bill, such as a business that requires tight cash flow and liquidity. Unfortunately, having $300 in my savings account for an extra two or three days does not provide enough interest to make up for the inconvenience of having to transfer the money to checking on a specific day. Remember, you can only withdraw from a savings account six times a month.

My preferences aside, I still got screwed because Bank of America took this as an opportunity to send an unauthorized draft from my account. As I have stated, my online request to BOA was to have my payment "sent to arrive three days before the due date." My bill being due on March 1st, my directions to the bank meant that my money should arrive on February 24th.

In the BEFORE world, this means that my money would leave my account two days early, on February 21st, to arrive on the 24th. I could change this date and amount anytime up to February 20th.

In the AFTER world, my money should be drawn from my account and applied to my bill on the 24th. It would be "in process" starting around the 21st, but I should be able to edit the date and amount up to the time it is "in process."

In the REAL world, Bank of America sent my payment on the 18th to arrive on the 21st. This is because, according their records, my money left my account on the 21st. So, they sent my money so they could withdraw it from my account as they had done in the past. BUT, this is not what I authorized.

I did not check a button saying "take the money out of my account 6 business days early." My request was that BOA send my payment to arrive three days early. Thus, the payment they sent was not what I requested or authorized.

I can understand their reasoning. In the past, the money left my account 6 days early but, equally, I was able to alter the payment any time up to 6 days before the due date. Given the way BOA handled this bill, I had to change the date 9 or 10 days before the due date. I think that's before I received the bill. On the other hand, who cares? Paying the bill 6 days early or sending the money 9 days early was not what I authorized.

Pop quiz:

1) My original request/authorization was based on:
a. The date the payment was to be sent
b. The date the payment was to arrive

2) How many days earlier than the due date was the payment to arrive?
a. 6
b. 3
c. 9

And, of course, they can't do anything about it. Though they won't charge me late fees. Nice of them, hunh? If I had done the same, not only would I have had to reverse my charges, but I would have had to pay BOA a substantial additional amount.

Also, being Bank of America, you can rest assured that they won't fix matters with my mortgage company if they deny payment, or take care of my credit card companies when my rates are jacked up because I have a delinquent account. In my experience, BOA takes care of what they do, but they won't take care of the consequences of what they do.

So, I'm fixing their mistake myself. One of the ways I'm fixing it is by changing my banking establishment.

Seriously, it's about time.

Pop Quiz Answers:
1) b
2) b

Cold, Warm, Hot

Post on Best Friends website (to Ann H, a horse trainer):

BTW, I tried your tactic of moving away with my kitty Athena. She is determined to remain feral, even though she was rescued before 6 wks old and despite having the fuzziest, sweetest, purriest mom and brother. (Though, actually, I think it's just that she's still really, really afraid of my hands.)
I've been trying to get her used to being around me and being touched. No dice, even though it's been almost a year.

So I've stopped trying to touch her and started "running away." I act like she does with me. When I see her, I skitter off and hide somewhere, or move to the farthest edge of the room. She's reacted to this by following me (my god! approaching! what a breakthrough!) and by jumping on the dining room table, just to see what I'd do. (No, still not allowed.)

I sense that it's given her a greater feeling of control in our relationship, added a new word to our vocabulary ("I respect your personal space"), and given her the confidence to sit on the couch when her family and I are having our evening snuggle.

She's actually touching me on occasion (though I can't touch her). Laying down next to me. Coming up to me and biting my feet. Enormous.

It snowed today!

Black silk cat

on white sugar snow

eats green grass

Great minds think alike

You know how much I love my George Foreman Grill?

A whole lot, right?

You know about the GF Grill with the removable plates that you can stick in the dishwasher?

I'd love that more.

BUT, there are also electric griddles, flat grills that butterfly out so that you can use it as either a clamshell or as a griddle and waffle irons.

I don't understand why you couldn't have a GF grill with different types of removable plates: a grill plate, a flat plate, a waffle plate; AND that you could either use as a clamshell OR open up to use both sides as a griddle.

Apparantly, Georgie-boy and I are sisters under the skin. He's come out with the G5 grill. It has a steak grilling plate (with little holes), a regular grilling plate, a flat plate that you can use open as a griddle or closed to bake, and two waffle plates. I don't see that it has the "open up flat" option, so my psychic wishes didn't come through completely clearly. But, he's doing pretty good. It is $129.99 at Target, so don't pay more if you find it elsewhere.

Since my birthday is coming soon, perhaps you could all chip in and get me one! ; )

I'm the O-Man

I'm the O-Man
I kick the other cats' asses
The black ones, both the lads and the lasses
And the white one and the orange one too
The black and white one - he knows what to do
Hides in his house and stays behind his fence
Otherwise we'd talk about him in the past tense
I'm the O-Man
I'm the O-Man
I'm the O-Man

I got no bitches 'cause I got no balls
That's why I don't mark on the walls
Instead I leave my mark on the animals
I'm a killer - anything cute and furry
Best leave my yard as fast as it can scurry
I don't need no stress, I don't need no worry
I'm the O-Man
I'm the O-Man
Yeah, I'm the O-Man

Bet you didn't know Orpheus was a rap star!

Cell Phones on the road: Not just for driving anymore

In a list of the places where one should not use a cell phone, walking around in the center merge lane of Roswell road would have to be close to the top. Not crossing Roswell road. Not on a median strip. Just walking around in the middle of an arterial road.

Of course, jay walking in front of oncoming traffic is also a bad place to use a cell phone. Especially if you have to stop in the middle of a lane to adjust your purse.

On the other hand, another not-particularly-smart idea is arising from a sick bed to buy a final ball of yarn, needles (OMG, I got addi TURBO needles. A slice of heaven, I kid you not.), and some pretty beads. Especially if you forgot to eat breakfast. Especially if people are standing around in the road talking on their cell phones.

I made it home, without a fatality, to have Orpheus greet me in the yard and ask to come inside. That tends to be a problem, because Henry likes to divebomb Orpheus from the new cat tower. Orpheus isn't particularly partial to this. So we went in through the basement door. It eliminated the rowdy crowd at the front door, but discombobulated everybody. To the point where Orpheus was seen licking the top of Alma's head. I'm aware that he intended to pin her to the floor by the back of her neck until she screamed in anger. He just got a little confused.

Here's a couple pictures of the new cat tower.

Alma is in the picture on the right. You can also see Athena - the two yellow dots peering from the bottom hole.

In the picture on the left is Alma and Orpheus sharing (!) the cat tower.

The front door is immediately right of the tower, great for scratch-marking the tower on the way in, or leaping on entering cats from above.

Actually, everybody was acting a little strange that day. Turns out that everybody's favorite feral is a knitty kitty. To the point where I had all her little claws stuck in my leg as she attacked my yarn. I let her play with the yarn - what's a couple of sweater-snags if Athena's coming around? - but I wouldn't let her run off with the whole ball. Who CAN resist Barranco's Soft Twist in Cycle?

Athena's still afraid of my hands but, as long as I don't try to touch her, is getting increasingly comfortable with the whole concept of me.

I have to admit it's getting better?

Albuterol tastes like a combination of cabbage and feet. Though it's better than coughing 'til you throw up. On the other hand, Gatorade isn't half bad to vomit.

Dr. Aubley's nurse said that if I wasn't "turning a corner" yesterday, to give them a call. And I was. I sorted through some paperwork. Made a few calls. Logged in to Bank of America to discover that my mortgage payment went out two days before my paycheck arrived. Uff da. But, so it goes. My current financial system is still better than anything I've had before. At least my mortage payment went OUT. I do wish that I had been conscious enough to have caught it in time.

Went to the yarn store. Got some yummy yarn that wasn't nearly enough to complete the pattern I wanted to do. Found a really, really cool free pattern on the internet (see it here).

Have you checked out the pattern? Are you asking yourself why I'm trying to knit something demonstrably above my skill level? Did you know I have four cats? Perhaps there's a common explanation. Like, I'm completely crazy.

On the other hand, I pretty much quit knitting for six months. I was doing a scarf in a fun yarn (I wanted to give it as a gift). But I now I realize I hate scarves. I've been looking at quite a few patterns lately and there's a certain feeling I get when the pattern is right. It's not the "that looks fun and easy to do," it's "oh my god, you can knit that? I could knit that?"

Today, I'm flat on my back again. Must of "over did" it yesterday. Going to a yarn store and Kroger.

On another note. Since I haven't had the energy to train Athena, I tried running away from her for a couple of days. Every time I saw her, I went in the opposite direction. It was interesting. You know, Henry is steak. Something that you could have every day, and would always be nice. Athena is Tobasco sauce.

She reacted in several ways.

1. She hid, because I was acting weird.
2. She walked toward me to see what I'd do.
3. And she tested whether or not the dining room table was fair game.

After all, if I'm running away from her, then I can't get her off the table, right? So she jumped up. And I made her get down. And she jumped up. And I made her get down. And she jumped up. And I made her get down. What about if she just puts two paws on the table and sniffs? No? What about one paw? What if she sits on the chair in front of the table?

Too smart for her own good.

Excerpts From 'A Cat's Guide To Human Beings'

A cute forward:


1. Introduction: Why Do We Need Humans?

So you've decided to get yourself a human being. In doing so, you've joined the millions of other cats who have acquired these strange and often frustrating creatures. There will be any number of times, during the course of your association with humans, when you will wonder why you have bothered to grace them with your presence.

What's so great about humans, anyway? Why not just hang around with other cats? Our greatest philosophers have struggled with this question for centuries, but the answer is actually rather simple:

THEY HAVE OPPOSABLE THUMBS.

Which makes them the perfect tools for such tasks as opening doors, getting the lids off of cat food cans, changing television stations and other activities that we, despite our other obvious advantages, find difficult to do ourselves. True, chimps, orangutans and lemurs also have opposable thumbs, but they are nowhere as easy to train.


2. How and When to Get Your Human's Attention

Humans often erroneously assume that there are other, more important activities than taking care of your immediate needs, such as conducting business, spending time with their families or even sleeping.

Though this is dreadfully inconvenient, you can make this work to your advantage by pestering your human at the moment it is the busiest. It is usually so flustered that it will do whatever you want it to do, just to get you out of its hair. Not coincidentally, human teenagers follow this same practice.

Here are some tried and true methods of getting your human to do what you want:

• Sitting on paper: An oldie but a goodie. If a human has paper in front of it, chances are good it's something they assume is more important than you. They will often offer you a snack to lure you away. Establish your supremacy over this wood pulp product at every opportunity. This practice also works well with computer keyboards, remote controls, car keys and small children.
  
  
• Waking your human at odd hours: A cat's "golden time" is between 3:30 and 4:30 in the morning. If you paw at your human's sleeping face during this time, you have a better than even chance that it will get up and, in an incoherent haze, do exactly what you want. You may actually have to scratch deep sleepers to get their attention; remember to vary the scratch site to keep the human from getting suspicious.

3. Punishing Your Human Being

Sometimes, despite your best training efforts, your human will stubbornly resist bending to your whim. In these extreme circumstances, you may have to punish your human. Obvious punishments, such as scratching furniture or eating household plants, are likely to backfire; the unsophisticated humans are likely to misinterpret the activities and then try to discipline YOU. Instead, we offer these subtle but nonetheless effective alternatives:

• Use the cat box during an important formal dinner.
  
• Stare impassively at your human while it is attempting a romantic interlude.
  
• Stand over an important piece of electronic equipment and feign a hairball attack.
  
• After your human has watched a particularly disturbing horror film, stand by the hall closet and then slowly back away, hissing and yowling.
  
• While your human is sleeping, lie on its face.

4. Rewarding Your Human: Should Your Gift Still Be Alive?

The cat world is divided over the etiquette of presenting humans with the thoughtful gift of a recently disembowelled animal. Some believe that humans prefer these gifts already dead, while others maintain that humans enjoy a slowly expiring cricket or rodent just as much as we do, given their jumpy and playful movements in picking the creatures up after they've been presented.

After much consideration of the human psyche, we recommend the following: cold blooded animals (large insects, frogs, lizards, garden snakes and the occasional earthworm) should be presented dead, while warm blooded animals (birds, rodents, your neighbour's Pomeranian) are better still living. When you see the expression on your human's face, you'll know it's worth it.


5. How Long Should You Keep Your Human?

You are only obligated to your human for one of your lives. The other eight are up to you. We recommend mixing and matching, though in the end, most humans (at least the ones that are worth living with) are pretty much the same. But what do you expect? They're humans, after all. Opposable thumbs will only take you so far.

Cough, cough, cough

Well, the bronchitis/pneumonia put a crimp into the whole "training Athena" plan. I haven't had time to do much besides sleeping, eating and opening doors for cats. Not even email. I've lost about three pounds too.

On the other hand, I've finished the first sweater I can wear.

My actual "first sweater" was started for my niece in 1999. I learned the basic knit and purl stitches from the premier issue of Family Circle's Knitting magazine that I bought in 1994. Unfortunately, I didn't understand that you had to turn the knitting around at the end of the row. So, I tried to do the next row backwards (right needle to left needle) and ended up with a snarl. I took a class in June of 2003, right after I got laid off from Onity, and cleared up that little misunderstanding. So, I finished "my niece's sweater" in February of 2004. I didn't have the yarn to do her current size, so I did the smallest one. It looks like somebody's been playing rugby in it. But it's done.

So this one, "the first sweater I can wear" was started on 3/16/2004 and finished on 1/15/2006, during which time I also completed a baby cardigan... And, actually, the pieces were finished before my move, but the assemblage got tossed aside... ok. Enough excuses. So, it took me almost 2 years to complete. But I did it.

My current cat collection takes a professional interest in the whole knitting thing. Like, they're cats, so they're obligated to play with the yarn, but it's not an obsession and they're not going to chase the yarn ball across the room, etc, etc. In contrast to a certain Hinge-kitty that I can remember. Though there are teeth marks in my stitch counter.

Alma is much more interested in the "lap" concept. I don't sit much, except at the computer. So she's enjoying the opportunity. As a matter of fact, I'm under the impression that she could find stuff to do on my lap for a whole day. Perhaps, someday when I have a chair that doesn't make my ass numb, I'll stockpile some goodies for me and have a "Good Day for Alma." A whole day of Varda's lap, finished off by a catnip jamboree.

Anyway, here's the sweater:

It's from the Paton's Back to Basics book, an adult cardigan with raglan sleeves. I used Lion Brand's Micro Spun, a super-soft, yummy yarn, in Lily White.


I'm going to change the buttons as soon as I feel strong enough to leave the house. The part of the button band that's behind the neck is a little loose and folds backwards. And there's a jog in the back where I layed down my knitting in the middle of a row. When I picked it back up and knit back along the half-row that I'd just knitted. I realized what had happened a few rows later. Tore part of it out, knitted it back. Repeated that a few times. Too much was done to tear all of it out and start completely over. And I was pretty sure I'd fixed it. Anyway. 99.99% of the sweater is in the acceptable to perfect range, so I'll wear it with pride.

Black Lightning

Perhaps I have a superhero on my hands?

You see, Hinge used to hide under beds during thunderstorms and Orpheus hides in closets.

Alma insisted sitting on my front step, bolt upright between the rails and watching the storm. A little odd for a cat.

Perhaps she's some pagan priestess in disguise?

Or maybe she's just a slightly strange snugglekitty. Who's helped me perfect the art of making a bed one-handed (the other was more usefully employed in scratching kitty ears) - and without disturbing the cat.

Communication

My last post gave me an idea. Training gives animals control over their environment (sorry about the anthromorphization, Dr. Machado). It gives them decision power - in a certain situation, they know that by doing something they will get a treat (or whatever). If they don't do it, they won't get the treat. It's really a form of communication. As I stated, Athena seems to need the communication and control, showing this by her insistance on routine and my opening doors at her demand.

I know it seems strange that by MY training HER, I'm giving her control - especially since the examples that I'm using go the other way. Trust me on this. She's not going to see it that way.

As Jonathan said, when I trained Travis, "What if he thinks that by [performing the action] he's training you to give him tuna." My response was, "He'd be right." Training by positive reinforcement isn't so much one animal forcing another animal to do something as it is a rough-and-ready form of communication. I say "sit," but what the cat is hearing is "If you want tuna, you can get some if you sit." Then they have a choice about whether they want tuna or not.

This also breaks us out of the cycle of our current relationship. So far, it's mostly composed of my giving her treats and trying to pet her and her asking me to open the basement door so that she can go downstairs and hide from me. I should have seperated her from her family as soon as she could eat solid food, but it's a little late now. I hereby do solemnly swear that I will not try to touch her at all during the training sessions. Thus, this will be a "safe" space for her to interact with me without her usual worries.

So - I'm going to "train" her to go to the top bed of her cat furniture on command. It's something that she does already, so it's a point of least resistance.

When I trained Travis, I started by having him jump up on the kitchen counters. Then I had him jump off. He could sit on command, and I was getting him to turn around when we stopped the training. This made it easy for him to understand
First, that he needed to do something for a treat.
Second, that he needed to do different behaviors at different signals.
Third, that when he saw a new signal he needed to watch me for cues on how to perform.
He was a really smart cat, and very trainable.

I think Athena is trainable too, but for different reasons. Travis's behavior was very variable, so he had figured out every possible way to get table food (and a few other things) when I started training him. For him, training was a new way to get table food. Athena is treat-motivated and likes rountine and rules.

I started Pavlovian-style clicker training today. Click-treat, Click-treat. It's impossible to get animals a treat in time to reinforce very specific behaviors, and if they come to you for the treat, they are associating coming to you more than the behavior. The clicker is a clear, fast, distinctive way of telling an animal "Yes." She left the last treat on the floor, so I've got about 6 - 8 chances in one training session. That will keep me from overworking her.

She gets it. Tomorrow, I'll do 3 clicker-treat pairings, then start asking her to do stuff for the treat/click. Let's say 4 training trials.

If I don't get good behavior response from treats, I'll see what tuna can do.

Scaredy cat

Lost cat detection "idea"

Have you ever noticed how a scared and puffy cat has a distinctive odor? It's a faint mix of cat urine and dead skunk, just barely detectable.

So, since we're able to train bees to detect land mines (click here for details), couldn't we train bees to track that scared cat smell? Thus, if you lose your cat (most of the time they get stuck or are hiding somewhere close to home), you'd release these bees and track them over the next three days. Where they start congregating, you know you have a cat in need.

Scary movie

Athena started to relax around me. Then I tried to TOUCH her a few times. My bad.

On the other hand, the most demanding feral in the world (aka Athena) has been having me open and close the basement door for her approximately every 15 minutes. I think it might be her way of feeling "in control" of our relationship. She meows and I open the door. Every time, except when I ignore her. I do not grab her, put her in a carrier and take her to the vet. She's making completly sure about this one safe aspect of our relationship.

In explaining this to Sergie, we evolved a movie idea - a cat terror flick.

Just when you think it is safe to go downstairs and hide in boxes, right there in your favorite corner - it's the VET with the VACCUUM. Snip, snip, snip.

Razor Paws

Alma seems to have provided her kittens with exceptionally sharp claws. Both Sergie and I were pretty scratched up by Henry, and Alma can take apart a shower curtain with just one swipe.

One of my friends got Soft Paws for her kitty when she adopted a baby. I decided to look into them. I bought a pack and, in reading the instructions, discovered that you have to trim kitty's claws before you put on the Soft Paws.

So, I got claw clippers. I haven't tried the Soft Paws yet, but trimming cat nails is surprisingly easy. Get them nice and relaxed in a snuggle, then clip a claw. Pet, pet, pet, clip. It's about the same rhythmn as petting a cat, rubbing the fur backwards, then petting them again. If you can do that for hours, keeping them pissed off, but not enough to leave, you know how to easily clip their claws.

One thing that I do want to mention: it looks like Soft Paws keeps the claw from retracting. It doesn't. I discovered upon clipping my cats' nails that the claw never fully retracts, it's just hidden between the pads in the hair. The Soft Paw cover just makes this more obvious.

On a down note, the ease of clipping the claws of two cats just makes me that much more angry at the people who declawed Orpheus. How could they be that inhumane for such a trifling inconvenience? Of course, I'm sure that people would be equally upset at my letting him outside. And they'd be right. But he LIKES being outside. He's not so appreciative of being declawed.

Black as a mouse, Big as a house, Tail like a snake, I make the earth shake

Sergie was saying to me the other day, "When Alma lived outside, she was slim and fashionable. Now, she's fat and ugly."

He's right, and it makes me sad to think of what I've done to her. But, I thought she was pregnant and spayed her (she, thank God, wasn't), then stuck her in a room where her kittens were free-feeding on kitten food. I'm not sure what else I could have done, but she ballooned up like a blimp. I think it makes her feel bad too.

When I was in PetSmart last, I picked up a Cat Fancy (they're irresistable with their pretty cats and great articles!) partially because they advertised an article about cat diets. Even kitties need New Year's resolutions.

This was a goldmine of information. Instead of the usual "give your cat less to eat and play with him more," they offered usable advice. Such as, wet food is better than dry food for a diet. Wonderful! A cat that is happier as she gets healthier for once. They referenced a cat calorie counter: you enter your cat's age, weight and sexual status, then the type and amount of food and treats you feed him. You are given a comparison of your cat's nutritional needs vs. what he is getting.

To weigh your cat, you should pick her up and get on a scale. Then put her down and subtract your weight.

I found out that Orpheus should have been getting a 1/4 can of wet food and 3/4 cup of food a day instead of the 2/3 cup of food and the can to lick.

Alma and Henry each should be getting about 1/2 cup of food a day, in addition to their wet food and treats, instead of the 2/3 cup food - which is about 1/3 of a cup of food less between them. (I estimated Alma's ideal weight to be roughly what Henry currently weighs.)

Athena, who I wasn't able to weigh, I guesstimated to be about 2 pounds smaller than Henry. This means that she should be getting 3/8 cup food + wet food and treats. She was getting 2/3 cup as well.

Besides the more accurate portion sizes, I'm not doing anything fancy in terms of feeding. I'm just dividing the appropriate amount between the four bowls and letting each cat each as much as they need. It seems to be working - even though, between them, they're consuming about a 1/3 cup less food daily, there's no whining and begging for more food. If somebody gets too thin, I'll start providing their portion separately from the others.

The final vein of information was a sidebar suggesting a new activity: throwing a treat down a long hall. This is especially effective for my pudgy little Athena. I call the game, "Manna from the Heavens." First, there's a lot of running and pouncing. Then, there's an Easter egg hunt as everybody searches for any treats that might have been missed. That's after they wash, of course. It's a real hit and keeps the cats occupied for a surprisingly long time after the treats stop flying through the air.